My bug, my sea creature, my gargoyle, my speck of dust.

It's insane how such a small beast can leave such a huge hole in so many hearts. I fell in love with Suki from the moment I saw her. I was quarantining at the time and Ferris had to bring her into our home. She was nervous, small, and great at squeezing behind appliances.

From the moment she first let me touch her, to her first taste of peshwari naan, to her first meows, the first few weeks we had with her I'll cherish. She so quickly became a lap cat it was hard to even imagine her being anything but.

Through the past few years, she's kept me company every morning while I had my breakfast and cup of tea (often resulting in me inadvertently eating some of her fur in aforementioned breakfast, or dipping her tail in my tea). I'm not sure how eating breakfast alone is going to feel now. I don't want to know.

I feel like I'll be hearing her meows and finding her whiskers for the rest of my life. It hurts knowing these are just remnants of her and I'll never get to hold her again or hear her sniffing my head with her wee nose. She never liked kisses but relented for me.

Though I didn't love it at the time, I'll miss her shoving her arse in my face to get attention. It stank and it looked gross but an evening won't be the same without Suki butt. Horrible? Maybe.

She was such a brave girl to the end. She was scared of nearly everything or everyone, but knew her limits and trusted us when we tried to make her safe.

I don't know what me and Ferris are gonna do without you. We've hugged more in the last few days than our entire friendship I think. We're forever bonded by our love for you and that thread will never be broken. We would've given anything to keep you as long as possible, and it hurts so much that we couldn't give anything but comfort and love in the end.

No amount of time would ever be enough with you. Three years by far wasn't. You came, you loved us so much, then you left us to pick up the pieces. I'm both empty and filled with lead. Thanks, kitten.

My heart has joined the thousand, for my friend stopped running today. <3